Climbing the walls, and temper tantrums – and that’s just Mummy!

Climbing the walls, and temper tantrums – and that’s just Mummy!

by Emma Hargan
article from Thursday 13, February, 2020

The Mummy Diaries – Week 27

YIP, this week has been all about me! Well, when I say all about me, what I really mean is it’s been all the about the kid’s antics and how bad super-dooper I’ve dealt with them. Ahem.

Lily is growing faster than I can say, “Get off the coffee table!” I literally need eyes on the back of my head right now. Jamie was a climber but nothing as bad as Lily. If I turn my back for 30 seconds, she could be on the window sill, the coffee table or even climbing the kitchen drawers to help herself from the fruit bowl. I think it’s because she has absolutely no fear whatsoever. Jamie would have been a bit of scaredy cat. He would have happily climbed up on things but would then shout, “Mummy, help!” to get back down or just start crying. Lily on the other hand will climb, swing, jump and throw herself off pretty much anything. My nerves are absolutely shot!

Apart from the obvious risk factor that she might hurt herself, I don’t want a trip to A&E. The thought of having to explain that my daughter climbed up on top of the coffee table and did a Superman off it before I could run from one end of the room to another – without them having to contact Social Services – makes my blood run cold.  Parenting is hard enough without being made to feel even more awful that your child has had an accident. Lily is also showing signs of the toddler tantrums which makes telling her no, that bit more difficult. She just shouts back, “NO!” and then throws herself down on the floor, crying. She’s such a drama queen. I don’t know where she gets it from. Ahem. So that’s where we are with Lily this week. If I could get her to wear a crash helmet, stop shouting “no!” all the time and stop protesting with toddler style melt downs, we’d be doing well. Parenting 101 right there.

Meanwhile, Jamie is starting to come out of the threenager melt downs and is starting to control himself a bit more. He still has the odd protest but he’s learning to react like a normal human being and less like a Gremlin on acid when he doesn’t get his own way. We’ve actually noticed a difference in him over the last couple of weeks. He’s started to share his toys better with Lily and will actually try to settle her with cuddles and kisses. Last week, I was in the kitchen when I heard Lily crying from the hallway. By the time I walked through, Jamie was sitting cuddling her and saying, “Don’t cry Lily, it’s okay.” And she calmed down.

Now I’m not disregarding the fact that it was probably Jamie that made her cry in the first place, by stealing her toy off her for instance, but the fact he was showing empathy towards her was so nice to see. Gone are the days that Jamie just ignored Lily’s existence. He actually misses her when she’s up in her room sleeping. Changed days or what?! Jamie is also spending more time playing with his puzzles and jigsaws without asking, “Mummy help?” every five minutes. The thing with Jamie is, he doesn’t actually need help, he’s more than capable of doing it by himself but he likes to have me sit with him. At times though, this isn’t possible as I’m seeing to Lily or making dinner so it’s good for him to work at things by himself as well. And it seems to be working. Rather too well I may add!

Last Friday and we had managed to get ourselves through a particularly busy week of nursery, appointments, work and play dates. I was busy getting the dinner ready, Jamie was busy doing one of his puzzles at the table and Lily was happy singing away to her dolls while having a tea party in the living room. My phone rang. It was a customer advisor from Sky asking why we were cancelling our contract with them.

“Hello Mrs Hargan, my name is Declan from Sky Customer Services. Do you have a few moments to chat about your contract termination please?” He said.

“Er, well, actually no I don’t right now.” I replied. I don’t know why they ask that question because they don’t give a shit and carry on anyway.

“Oh this will only take a couple of minutes.” He interrupted.

Fox ache.

“Erm okay.”

“So can I ask firstly your password for security reasons please?”

I mean, what? He bloody phoned me!

“It’s $%@£” I answered.

“Thank you and your full name, date of birth and full address please?”

What? No blood type?

By the time I had got through the security questions, Lily was starting to build a nice wee climbing frame for herself next to the stairgate.

“Mummy?” Jamie asked.

“So, Mrs Hargan, can I ask why you are leaving Sky?” The rep asked.

“Well for a start your prices…” I then ranted on with a list as long as my arm, that I’m pretty sure the guy wished he had skipped passed my number!

“Well I’m sorry to hear all that Mrs Hargan and I hope you might come back to us again in the future.” He replied, and hung up.

EH??!! All that chat and he never once as much as offered me a discount or an upgrade or a..

“Whoops – the dinner!” I roared while switching off the oven and rescuing Lily from a seriously unsteady heap of toys at the stair gate.

Fox ache.

“Mummy?” Jamie asked again.

“What Jamie?” I replied, opening the windows to get rid of the burning smell while trying to plate up what was left of the dinner before James walked through the door.

“Tidy up now Mummy?” He said.

“Yes Jamie, tidy up now. Put the puzzles back in the box please?” I asked.

I glanced through and spotted Lily standing on the coffee table getting squared-up to jump on to the sofa. I raced over and caught her just in time.

“No Lily, that’s dangerous, don’t do that!” I said.

“NO!” Lily replied.


“Mummy?” Jamie asked again.

“Right Jamie come on, get this lot cleared away now.” I said while throwing everything back into the box.

“Mummy no!” Jamie roared.

“Yes, I don’t have time for this…”

“But Mummy that’s wrong.” He said upset.

“What’s wrong?” I asked.

Jamie grabbed the other puzzle box and emptied everything back out on to the table again. He started to separate the puzzles in to the right boxes that I had mixed together.

“That’s right now Mummy.” He said while lifting the boxes off the table and put them away in the cupboard.

I felt about five inches tall.  Just then, James walks through the front door.

“Hi Daddy!” Jamie and Lily went running through to see James.

“Hello you two! Jesus what’s that smell?” James asked.

“That’s your dinner.” I replied.

So, the moral of the story this week? It’s a good idea to try and get one toddler past the terrible two’s/threenager phase before the next one starts, otherwise you have double trouble on your hands! And the other thing? Yes, us mummies can multitask as best as anyone – but within reason. It’s a bit much to be making the dinner, doing a puzzle, getting interrogated on the phone and trying to stop a 20-month-old from doing a free fall from the sofa.

I’m not superwomen – but my daughter might be when flying off the coffee table!

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