The Mummy Diaries: One Baby, one threenager – Week 15

The Mummy Diaries: One Baby, one threenager – Week 15

by Emma Hargan
article from Wednesday 13, November, 2019

YOU KNOW THAT OLD SAYING, be careful what you wish for? The last 12 months I have been desperate for Jamie to start chatting. Now he is and I’m starting to wish we could rewind the last six months. My, what a difference a week makes!

Of course I am delighted that we have now hit the next phase of toddlerhood, but like most parents I guess, we are so busy in looking forward, we forget to enjoy the here and now. It’s not until a period of events pass by that we look back with affection to a time when it was, well, easier. I’m super guilty of doing this. I remember thinking with both my two, I can’t wait until they are crawling, and then I can’t wait until they are walking. Now I look back with fond memories of putting them down on the blanket on the living room floor and when I walk back into the living room, they were still in the same place I left them. Not stripped off and standing on the sofas switching the lights on and off or trying to climb into the toilet.

Or I can’t wait until they are out of the high chair and sit at the table with us to eat. Now I spend most of my meal times chasing my son around the kitchen table or pretending to eat his dinner in an attempt to get him to eat it. Which usually ends up a disaster.

So, the stage I’m currently attempting is to enjoy the here and now. Even if it is another ‘delightful’ toddler phase. The chatting.

It started off cute, with renditions of Twinkle Twinkle, Baa Baa Black Sheep, the ABC song and “Love you Mummy, love you Daddy and love you Lily.” Awwww! Adorable.

It didn’t last long. Now I have a little version of myself arguing back at me about pretty much everything, just because he can. Jamie now tells me what he wants to wear in the morning, which is fine when it’s his play school uniform or even just normal clothes but the other day he threw a fit because he wanted to wear his monster Halloween costume to the swimming pool.

Another good one is, “why he can’t have ice cream for dinner every night?” and then the pièce de résistance was he wasn’t having a bath last night because the water was “too wet.” I think the highlight last week was when Jamie asked me what he was having for dinner?

I replied, “You and Lily are having fish fingers, beans and waffle.”

“Okay!” Jamie says.

James came home from work and we all sat down to dinner and I was dishing the food up when James asks, “What are we having for dinner?”

Jamie chirps up, “Having fish fingers, beans and it’s awful!”

“WAFFLE!” I roared, “Your having waffle, not it’s awful!”

Fox ache. I now have to be very careful what I say as everything is being repeated.

Now don’t get me wrong, Jamie does use words for saying nice things too. He chats away to Lily when they are playing and tells her he loves her and that she’s a good girl and that she’s a clever girl. So you can imagine our surprise when one morning last week, I took Jamie through to the toilet to get changed for play school and I forgot to close the door to stop Lily from getting in and climbing up over everything. I was trying to get Jamie’s trousers on and Lily was trying to climb up to the sink.

“No Lily, out just now!” I said.

Lily carried on.

“Lily, out now please! James can you get Lily out of here!”

Crash! Lily falls off the step and starts to cry. Jamie then pipes up, “What an asshole.”

James and I just looked at each other and couldn’t even speak. We didn’t need too as I knew it was my fault he had picked that one up. I’m not good with road rage.

So, with Jamie listening, repeating and blethering away, it’s no surprise that Lily has upped her game to match Jamie and her speech is amazing. She’s only 17 months and can sing along to songs, starting to do ABC and can pretty much ask for everything she wants to eat like juice, ham, cheese, biscuits and if she wants to watch Gruffalo or Buzz Lightyear.  Maybe in general, wee girls progress quicker than boys but the difference in Jamie and Lily is like night and day.

This week has been a mix of highs, lows and embarrassments! I decided to get the chore of doing the food shopping done and out of the way on Monday morning as I knew I was going to have a busy week work-wise. I had three jobs to complete before Wednesday and on Thursday morning I had an important phone call with a lady who wanted to speak about taking me on for the foreseeable future to do a social media project. I try to schedule any work calls in the morning as Jamie is at play school and Lily has her nap so I have peace and quiet. So with the busy week ahead, I wanted to get organised. Lily and I dropped Jamie off in the morning and headed on to the supermarket. Lily loves getting in the trolley and gets all excited going around the aisles. I think she loves the attention of being on her own as well, while Jamie is away.

We got the bags out of the car and headed in the main doors. It wasn’t overly busy and there were workmen fixing the escalators for coming downstairs. We headed upstairs first to get a few bits and pieces and wander round the baby clothes section. Once finished, we joined the queue for the elevator to bring us back down to the food shopping floor. There was quite a queue because the escalator was out of order, but after a short wait, we managed to squeeze ourselves in before the doors closed. I was shoulder to shoulder with another lady and her baby in a pushchair and she looked at Lily, smiled and said hello to her.

Lily looked up and said, “Uh oh, poopie pants!”

My face went scarlet as I knew what was coming next. Lily started pushing and there was nowhere to run. Out of all the times to fill her nappy, it had to happen inside an elevator. The doors opened and I’ve never seen a group of people fall out of a space so quick in my life.

Fox ache. It was a quick trip to the shops this week.

By Tuesday morning I was pretty much organised and had my notes ready for the important work call on Thursday. I just got Lily settled into her cot, the kettle on and sat down to do the finishing notes when my phone rang. It was the play school.

“Hi Emma, Jamie isn’t very well here, he has a high temperature and is unsettled and crying.” The receptionist said.

“Oh no, okay I’ll be there in five minutes.” I replied.

I lifted Lily into the car and we raced into the play school. Poor Jamie was crying and came running over to me for a cuddle. He was roasting. The teacher said there were infections and colds doing the rounds but it came on so sudden with Jamie. I got his stuff together, bundled them both into the car and headed for home.

After a dose of Nurofen, a drink of juice, changed into pj’s and a lot of cuddles later, I finally got Jamie settled and down to sleep. Lily went straight down thankfully, so I could concentrate my attention on Jamie. Jamie didn’t have a good night and his temperature kept creeping up.  I rang the doctor’s surgery in the morning and managed to get an appointment later that day. Turned out, the poor wee soul had a chest infection and was prescribed an antibiotic, plenty fluids, rest and cuddles for the next five days.

Poor wee man was up and down the rest of the day and it was hard work trying to keep him settled and comfortable.

“What are you going to do about your call tomorrow if Jamie’s home?” James asked.

“Oh no, I forgot about that.” I said. “It’ll be alright, he can play on the iPad for 15 minutes, Lily will be having her nap, I shouldn’t be that long.” Quietly panicking at the thought.

Thursday morning arrived. My work call was scheduled for 10.00am.

9.30am – Lily changed and up to her cot.

9.45am – Notes gathered, files, pad and pen at the ready.

9.55am – Jamie on the sofa, iPad on, kids YouTube on, one contented Jamie. Great!

Lily starts to cry.

Shit. I race upstairs and there was no way Lily was for sleeping as she was jumping about in her cot. I frantically got Lily back downstairs and sat her on the floor with her blanket and some toys in the hope that she would sit quiet for a few minutes.

My phone rings.

“Hello?” I answered.

“Hi, Emma Hargan?” a lady’s voice said.

“Yes, hello.” I replied.

And so it began.

I had made it ten minutes into the conversation, my work speech was going really well and not a mute out of the kids who were happily sitting together on the floor watching the iPad. I had just finished explaining the details of the project and was about to move onto references when I hear an enormous fart sound and then the kids cracking up laughing. I try to continue talking when the next minute I hear a huge burp noise and the two of them in hysterics! Silence on the other end of the phone. Oh my God.

“I apologise for the noise in the background, my kids are both at home today.” I said shamed to the bone while at the same time another loud farting noise followed by hysterical laughter resumed.

“Oh, I see”, the lady replied. “Why don’t we re-schedule the call until next Monday if you would be free then?” The lady enquired.

“Yes sure, that’s fine.” I said disappointed knowing that the chances of me getting the project were little to none after that.

I finished the call and went into the living room where I found Jamie and Lily watching two puppets having a farting and burping competition on Kids Tube! That’s the end of that!

At bedtime, we each did the usual routine of showering the kids, getting them changed and into bed. James took Lily and then it was my turn with Jamie. He happily sang all his nursery songs in the shower and blethered away about his toys while getting his pyjamas on. He gave James a kiss and ran to his room, jumped into bed and cuddled into his teddy while I tucked him in and sat on the edge of his bed.

He gave me a big cuddle and said, “Jamie loves Mummy.” And rolled over.

While walking back downstairs I was smiling to myself wondering how it is possible to want to throttle a tiny human a few hours earlier in the day out of embarrassment – to feeling proud and not being able to love anything more. I went into the kitchen and sat down to my laptop and there in my emails..

Dear Emma, further to our telephone conversation today I would like to go ahead and start the project for our company’s social media….

She must have kids herself I thought!

ThinkScotland exists thanks to readers' support - please donate in any currency and often


Follow us on Facebook and Twitter & like and share this article
To comment on this article please go to our facebook page