The Mummy Diaries: Two babies – Week 38

The Mummy Diaries: Two babies – Week 38

by Emma Hargan
article from Monday 11, March, 2019

ALL UPS and no downs this week thankfully. Although a few tears. No, not Jamie or Lily – me! I got a phone call from the local nursery to say they are holding the enrolment evening next week and for us to come along and get Jamie booked in.

Where the heck did that time go? Jamie will be three years old in July and starting nursery after the summer. When everyone said to me to enjoy every second with them as it goes so fast, I didn’t really understand until now. I thought that having started Jamie at creche, it would make it easier but it hasn’t. My ‘baby’ is starting nursery. 

The transition from the baby phase to toddler phase was actually blissfully pain free. I was happy to get rid of the bottles, the baby grows, the sleep suits and the baby bouncer. Moving swiftly on to the sitting at the table and food spilling everywhere, sippy cups, shoes on the wrong way, sleeping in a big bed, tantrums and complete defiance with, well - anything and everything. 

Nah, who was I kidding?  I missed the baby phase and I’m enjoying it even more this time around with Lily. I feel like I have more confidence and I’m more relaxed this time round  to actually enjoy the experience. This is not because I actually know what I’m doing, but because I’ve learned with Jamie that each stage goes by in a flash and if you’re not careful, you’ll miss it.

So what’s the difference between a baby mummy and a toddler mummy?

The new baby mummy:

• Constantly tired.

• It’s a daily routine of feeding, burping, changing, sleeping.

• Happy to see friends and family but anxious about leaving the baby with anyone.

• Lucky to get out of pyjamas before lunchtime.

• If leaving the house, the nappy bag has everything but the kitchen sink in it - just in case.

• Dinners consist of frozen pizza and pasta – lots and lots of pasta!

• Checking if baby is still breathing.

• Steady craving a nap/rest/sleep.

• Showering fast with baby in the bouncer in the room. 

• Constant battle between trying to lose weight and eat, well, anything and everything to hand!

• Forget about sex!

The toddler mummy:

• Still tired.

• Daily routine of making meals that no one will eat, cleaning Nutella off the wall and wiping asses.

• Happy to see friends and family and extremely happy to leave kids with well, anyone.

• Kids fed, changed and dressed before 9am. Me – still in pj’s at 3pm.

• If leaving the house, throw a couple of nappy and wipes into handbag and just hope for the best.

• Lying on a daily basis – ‘No you can’t watch Nemo again, the telly’s broken’ and ‘Santa’s watching you so you better start behaving!’

• You haven’t experienced pain until you’ve ran into your toddler’s room at 3am to a chilling scream and stand on a piece of Lego. Only to find they’ve just lost their dummy.

• No matter how careful you are, you’ll still find your clothes will be covered in drool, snot and food at the end of the day.

• You can wipe hands and faces like a ninja on speed so as to avoid a screaming match.

• Your YouTube playlist now consists of Baby Shark, Thomas the Tank Engine and Crazy Frog.

• Showering like a psycho. You will just have got the conditioner in your hair when you think you hear your toddler crying. You will run out dripping wet and they are sitting blissfully, contentedly playing

• Spending most of the day looking forward to bedtime and then missing them when they're asleep. But not that much that you would risk life and limb crawling on your hands and knees past your toddler’s door to risk wakening them.

• Constant battle of needing a nap, rest, massage and wine. Not necessarily in that order!

• Forgotten sex!

To the new mummy, yes it’s a drastic change to your life. You will be exhausted. You will worry. You will be overwhelmed. But enjoy every moment of it, because they will soon become a toddler. That’s when the shit really hits the fan.

So, our boy Jamie is soon to move on to the next stage. We’ve yet to experience, the joys of the Three-Nager. 

The terrible twos? By the sounds of things on what I have read and been told, the Three-Nager is a whole different ball game of bat shit crazy. I’m starting to mentally prepare myself for the next step. The toilet training, the questions, the nursery, the stubbornness, the defiance and the embarrassments of public ‘disagreements’. I’m sure, like every other stage, I will be reading on Facebook, Instagram and the blogs from those whose kids are perfect and never have meltdowns and do as they are told, but just remember these things:

1. Bottle fed or breast fed?

2. Dummy or sooky toy?

3. Creche or Nursery?

4. Public school or private school?

5. Stay at home mum or working mum?

It doesn’t make one bit of difference. They all turn into teenagers anyway.

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